The majority of couples experience dysfunction or difficulties related to their sex life throughout their married life, thus affecting their sexual fulfillment. In men, the concern often lies in erectile dysfunction, which does not allow him to experience sexual pleasure. In women, sexual disorders are more complex in that they are generally related to their emotional life. Daily worries often compromise their serenity at the risk of losing libido and refusing to live one’s sexuality in peace.
How do you define the concept of “making love”?
The concept of love is generally difficult to define and define. Especially when it comes to talking about making love. In the past, women and men made love like “beasts.” Without consultation, and without any prior, the man took the woman when the urge took him, and the woman was forced to accept and suffer the onslaught of her partner, whether or not she felt the urge. Sexual exchanges were then limited to the unilateral pleasure of man, with, perhaps as the sole objective, of having children.
Today, the evolution of science is such that sex education is taught from colleges and high schools, by experienced educators in all forms of sexuality. But above all, it is important to clearly understand the libido that should govern the desire to have sex, especially in humans. To make love is to undertake the carnal act which usually consists of a succession of feelings and sensual acts including sexual desire, sexual arousal, loving embrace, penetration, followed by orgasms and ejaculation. But the question that is on everyone’s lips is then whether man can make love without experiencing any loving or sensual feelings. Can man’s difficulties in achieving erection and orgasm justify the fact that he has no feelings? Opinions differ on this issue.
Different visions
On the one hand, man is easily influenced. Under the influence of photos and porn images, naughty objects or articles, or even reading or watching films or erotic or pornographic documentaries, he will want to have sex. At this time, without feeling any sense of attachment either for a woman or for another man, and through sex stimulation of his genitals, he will be able to raise the desire in his own penis and thus satisfy his sexual desire. . This is the case for men who are content with sexual encounters to respond only to their sexual fantasies.
Moreover, many men engage in this kind of practice, sometimes accentuated by masturbation, to ensure their erectile capacity before having sex with their wives. At this point, it can be said that the feeling in man is ambiguous, insofar as he needed to get in shape, before moving on to the carnal act, without reducing his feelings of deep love for his partner. In this case, the fact of conditioning, like people in situations, is reciprocal, because it also happens in women to undertake such prerequisites, often without the knowledge of her partner or spouse.
On the other hand, in some men who have acquired higher intellectual and cultural levels, sentimental and emotional life comes before sex. For this category of men, sexual intercourse is only the result or cause-and-effect relationship. They would then be unable to live their sexuality decently without feeling a sense of attraction and love for their partner or spouse. In this sense, in the case of marital conflicts, family problems or other concerns that are not even associated with his sexuality, the man is not willing to have intercourse or to give sexual satisfaction to his spouse. He may then be exposed to erectile dysfunction and suffer from frustration. For this kind of man, it is almost impossible to find sexual fulfillment without experiencing feelings of love.
Anyway, it is proven that it is generally sufficient for any man to adopt appropriate sexual behaviour during the sexual act to achieve orgasm. Even if there are no feelings, when the man talks about sex, he will have to imagine obscene scenes, such as vaginal penetration, or the clitoris of a woman caught in a doggy, to explode in a violent orgasm.
In short, love is not only the carnal act, it is also the desire to give body and soul to the woman we love, to be willing to offer her a decent married life, integrating the right to a fulfilling sexuality.
How to avoid making love without feeling
Unlike women, men are not always an exemplary lover. However, in order to have a normal sexuality and an optimal married life, more and more of these gentlemen are subjectto to an emotional and sexual education. Indeed, in addition to the educational sessions given at high schools for the benefit of girls and boys, to overcome above all the prejudices around sexual relations.
Tabou, many men, usually fathers, learn to reconcile feelings of marital love, sensuality and sexual activities in order to discover sexuality in a different way. To do this, they do not hesitate to consult a sexologist or gynecologist to deepen their knowledge on the subject. The advice of these therapists includes female and male sexuality, sexual dynamics in couples, the search for sexual prejudice and solutions to all these issues. Such teaching could indeed help men to better understand sexual activity, to know how to talk about sexuality, without taboo and without restriction with his partner.
